“I Used to Swear I’d Never Become This Version of Me.”

Content Warning:
This confessional includes discussion of addiction and relapse. Listener discretion advised.

Disclaimer:
This story reflects personal experience only and does not substitute for professional treatment or recovery support.

I used to judge people like me.

I said things like, “I’d never let it get that bad.”
I didn’t realize addiction doesn’t ask for permission — it waits until pain makes the decision feel reasonable.

At first, it helped.
It quieted things.
It gave me space from memories I didn’t know how to carry.

Then one day, I looked around and didn’t recognize my life — or myself. The shame was heavier than the addiction. That’s what kept me stuck.

Rock bottom wasn’t dramatic.
It was quiet.
It was realizing I couldn’t keep pretending this wasn’t killing me slowly.

Recovery didn’t make me proud overnight.
But choosing to try — even imperfectly — saved my life.

If you’re still fighting yourself, hear this:
You are not a lost cause. You are a human in pain.

-Anonymous in Amarillo